I'm in PA helping my mom after my father's death 3 months ago. I wanted to get pictures of some equipment that he put up in the loft so we could sell it. So I was using a Gorilla ladder and apparently I didn't have it locked in right. I had my left food on the first step and went to step on the second with my right and the ladder collapsed. My left leg got stuck between the first and second step, twisted and broke. I was able to lower myself to the concrete floor but apparently I stepped on my broken leg causing even more damage.
I saw/heard the knee break in the twisting and then when I stepped it shoved the tibia (lower leg bone) under the top leg bone. There are bone pieces from the tibia and the cartilage of the knee is a mess but they won't know how bad until the swelling goes down.
This first surgery I had on Tuesday just got the big bones separated and back in line so the soft tissue in the knee can get better. Second surgery (maybe in a week) puts rods & pins to fix the broken tibia and the knee cartilage. So I'm stuck at my mom's house in PA with my 5 yr old. My husband had to make an emergency trip here. My mother is stressed dealing with the loss of my father and the insanity of this situation and her and my husband have a knack for pissing each other off.
Fortunately at the hospital I was a rockstar and was able to get around with a walker WAY faster than I anticipated and my medical team has been thrilled with my strength and progress. I was even released yesterday. THANK GOD I started working out and taking care of my health back in August or I would be totally screwed now.
Well yesterday was THE hardest day of all. Transitioning from the hospital to mom's house when I was already tired sucked. My muscles were sore and my mind was weak. For the first time I had several moments of fear. Fear of falling. Fear of failure. Just plain frozen in fear. That's not me. I'm not used to being stuck in my head anymore. I was trapped in my head when I was struggling with depression. I can not go back!!! I can not let this defeat me!!! So with the help of my husband and somewhat my mom I figured it out. Frank reminded me that I work out. Marissa has trained me for this. I know how to use my muscles and move my body better than I ever have. Humbling. My successes are measured by the ability to stand from a seated position, walk (controlled hopping really) and go potty. I feel like a child. Grateful for the strength I have learned from my MIM family. Both physically and mentally. Ironically I now understand "the mind will quit long before the body gives out". I'm grateful for all the love and support I get from those near and far. It helps remind me I am not alone.
You are strong! You are prepared. You can do sit and be fit :) You are inspiring me.
ReplyDeleteRight now those things- getting up, hopping, and going to the bathroom are goals that most people probably wouldn't have reached yet. Love you.