Friends....

People who have known me for a while always think I'm a very social person. Truth is I'm not. Even my Birkman will tell you I'm selectively social. When I'm in a new group of people I tend to sit back and observe. It takes a while before I start to trust someone and let them into my circle. I usually only have one or two close friends and then the circles ripple out from there. 

The early years all the way through the majority of high school my BFF was there. I trusted her with everything. We went through a lot of those awkward years until junior prom. Junior prom she had a boyfriend and I didn't. No big deal but she ended up at a couples party and I had a group of singles at my house. Long story short, crazy boys from their party plotted revenge on a boy at my party causing him to stay later than my other guests. This is the time when idiot boy attempted to rape me. Fortunately my mother arrived in the nick of time and stopped me from being a statistic. It was still traumatic and when I told my BFF she didn't believe me. Our friendship was never the same but we have reconnected as adults, but I think this set the precident for how I connect with my friends from this point forward. 

 

Then there's Jeff. He's like a brother to me. We even shared an apartment until I moved in with my now husband. He and his family are still a part of my life and he's my child's godfather. I can't imagine life without him, but because of distance we aren't as close as we once were which makes me sad. We do however pick up where we left off as soon as we're together. I just wish we had more face to face time and I know he does too. 

Texas has never entirely felt like home. Maybe that's because we don't have people to return to when we leave. No family or friends like family. There have been a few people that got pretty far into my circles but at some point I'm disappointed and hurt. You really do find out who your friends are when you have a baby. Fortunately I was able to find some good friends with a child as well. 

Through my daughter's Playgroup I have met some amazing women. Some I know I'll know for a long time and some will fade in and out as our children grow. 

Someone once told me that some friends are made to last a lifetime while others are only around for a season. Both have purpose, but you don't want to spend all your energy on a season when you have a lifetime. 

I'll drink to that...

I can't count how many times this week I've said "I am 38 years old!" Some people are embarrassed by their age, I wear it more like battle stripes. I've had the opportunity to travel, experience life and learn who I am and who I'm not. I don't love everything about myself (who does) but I do like the person I am. Lots of people have a false impression of who they think I am and yet very few people truly know me.

I have been accused of being a "party girl" mother. This amuses be greatly and couldn't be further from the truth. I used to be a party girl. I enjoyed a good time and drank regularly until I became pregnant. Mostly wine at home or at dinner but if I went out to a happy hour or hung with my friends I DRANK! I was that person that never turned down a drink and was always up for a good time. The key to all of this is that I also never drove drunk. I have been drunk on many occasions but I will never get behind a wheel that way. I have consumed alcohol and driven but that's a whole other topic... Now that I'm a mom I always know that at some point it's likely that my daughter will WANT me. She may not need me but she will almost always want me and Murphy knows it will happen at the worst possible time. This is on my mind as I drink and creates a self imposed mommy limit. I'm perfectly ok with that. What I'm not ok with is people on their high horse judging or making assumptions about my alcohol consumption. In fact, I'd like to take a wine bottle (empty of course...no alcohol abuse) and shove it up their ass! This would be difficult however because this is also where their head is usually located. 

In case you didn't know, a bottle of wine is only 4 glasses. When consumed with food and shared with friends over an evening is no big deal. So next time you want to judge someone based upon things you know nothing about...cork it!